*Note: this post is a condensed version of the Coming Out Gold Podcast Episode 27 found here.

Welcome back to the RS Blog. I hope you are ready for this one because it is time for us to make some amazing changes. The past couple of years has been challenging at best. Familiar patterns and routines got tossed onto their heads. We gained new insights, and many new passions were awakened. Some of us discovered areas where we craved change and yet were uncertain how to proceed. If you are ready to make some changes in your life, this post will give you a three-step process for finding your desired transformation regardless of its scope and scale.


Have you ever felt stuck in some area of your life? Perhaps it was a job or a relationship. Maybe it was an unhealthy habit you have wanted to break. Many women share they feel stuck in areas of life and don’t know how to make the changes needed. There is a yearning to move forward but they question if they have the tools needed to get there.

If you want to be alive in your story and know with certainty where you’re heading, these tools can help you feel confident about the steps to take to get there. It is time to stop using excuses like busyness, responsibilities, or exhaustion – even if those are all true. The truth is no one should spend their one beautiful life too busy to chase their dreams, so get ready to take back your power and transform your life!


Many of the clients I have worked with are simply worn down by their lives. Boundaries have been breached, calendars have overflowed, and the space for dreaming has been consumed. They come to me with feelings like defeat and shame. As we begin working together, they find chaos abate and order restored. We create pockets of margin, so they have time and space to rest, exhale, and build awareness. Over time the vision and dreams for their life begin to crystalize. This brings a wave of energy, creating momentum that moves them toward their dreams.

As I mentioned last week, there have been seasons in my life when busyness was my Medal of Honor. It kept me running from myself and allowed me to ignore the half-life I was living. I compromised much of myself in an effort to cling to the bits of life I had. But a half-life isn’t living, and I don’t want to see another woman accepting less than the full life of beauty they deserve. If I can find my way back to the light, back to life, and craft a new vision for myself, you can, too, Lovie.


To get us there, we are going through a three-step process where you will learn to:

  1. Be encouraged
  2. Be empowered
  3. Be equipped

These three steps can apply to any type of transformation you are seeking. If you allow yourself to be encouraged, you will begin feeling empowered. Once you are empowered, you can work to equip yourself for the next phase in the journey to your ideal life. Then before you know it, areas of your life begin to transform.

As a coach, I want to help you lift your head, so I can look you in the eyes and hold up a mirror for you to see your greatness. Once your head is lifted, we can begin to do the work needed to empower you by changing mindsets, and identifying problems. When the mindset shifts are understood, we build a toolbox full of tools to equip you when the storms get tough. They will ensure your success when you are on your own. Let’s unpack each step now.


The word encourage means to give support, confidence or hope to someone. It also means to inspire with courage, spirit, or hope. In a world where women are handed giants sets of shoulds and heaps of expectations, the weight on our shoulders can press down until we can no longer lift our heads. It is hard to find hope when we are carrying this incredible weight.

The first step towards transforming our lives requires us to lift our heads and shuck off the weights others have handed us. Once we sit those weights down, we can straighten our spine, lift our chin, and pull our shoulders back. We can take a deep breath and learn to be aware of what is happening in our lives. To transform, you have to be able to see clearly by dropping the false narratives we have long told ourselves. Transformation begins when you start to see the gifts and magic within yourself because this will lead you to believe in yourself. Believing in yourself creates a springboard for you to begin to feel empowered.


Being encouraged and learning to see your strengths and gifts helps you develop the grit needed to press on. Then you can become empowered. To empower is to give someone the authority or power to do something or make someone stronger and more confident, especially in controlling their life and claiming their rights. Empowering others requires building trust. It most often takes place after some relational equity has developed. There has to be an authentic connection to ensure it’s safe to make mistakes while also holding them to a higher level of being. A lot of clarity happens in this stage, and it requires healthy boundary setting

The coaching market is full of empowerment coaches, and they are much needed. The challenge with it stopping here is when you go back to your life your old stuff comes racing back at you. Making sure clients are equipped with an ample toolbox to use when they aren’t with you will ensure they are successful in between sessions. This takes us to the next step in transformation: equipping.



When you equip others, you prepare them mentally for a particular situation or task. It involves building a toolbox to ensure they have what is needed to move forward and transform their lives. This toolbox provides tactics and strategies for a myriad of circumstances they could face. It prepares you for all possibilities ahead. When you are fully equipped, you learn to encourage and empower yourself bringing you even closer to your transformation.

There are many tools to equip you, and I wanted to share a few top ones here. First, create a list of things that motivate you. Knowing a compelling why for wanting your transformation is vital here. You should also have a system of assessing, adjusting, and evaluating. It takes courage to ask the hard questions but they yield a great reward. Another powerful tool is to define your active core values. They will guide your decisions and are key to successful, lasting transformation.



The journey of transforming areas of your life can feel overwhelming. Hiring a coach and building a support team is key. As a coach, I believe helping others transform should be a WITH process. I would never want my clients to feel alone as they navigated the process. One of the highest compliments I have ever received came from a current client. She said she wanted to add me to her regular mental health team so that she could see her therapist and me. This is great because a therapist helps you address the challenges you have faced, and a coach helps you work out what’s next. Building your support team helps ensure you stay encouraged, empowered, and equipped helps so you can change the areas of life you have decided to transform.


If you follow this three-pronged plan, you will:

  • Find hope and courage
  • Build confidence
  • Gain clarity
  • Learn to trust yourself
  • Create a vision for your future
  • Build a strategy for success

I promise you don’t have to stay stuck in old patterns feeling discouraged, defeated, or burdened by the weight of shoulds and expectations. I want to help you understand how to get from where you are now to where you want to be. If you are interested in getting started on your transformation, book your free consultation today. Together we will design a plan to start living your best story.


Until next time, remember, I am in it WITH you, always,
Coach Tammy