*Note: this post is a condensed version of the Coming Out Gold Podcast Episode 29 found here.

Welcome back to The RS Blog. Today I hope to help you see you don’t need anyone’s permission to live the life of your dreams. We are going to unpack some false narratives around women needing rescue and set us on the path to being the Shero of our own stories. Let’s dive in.


Have you ever found yourself in a storm waiting for someone to ride to your rescue?

Did you ever wait for the knight in shining armor to ride to your aid?

I hate to break it to you, but Jerry MacGuire lied. No one completes another person. You are already whole and should only want to be in a relationship with other whole people. And heaven knows, you don’t need a man to ride to your rescue.

As a coach, I have encountered many women who believe the false narrative that they need someone to save them. This is natural given the patriarchal upbringing most have experienced. Add to that the romanticized version of women being damsels in distress and it makes it hard to break this pattern. But the real truth is you deserve to be a woman who feels capable and equipped to handle whatever life throws your way.


Raise your hand if you are ready to:
Feel empowered.
Find answers to your questions so you can solve your own problems.
Stand on your own two feet and feel confident handling whatever comes.

Women have been sold a romanticized version of life. We have long been portrayed as needing rescue. When life throws us challenges we wait for a knight in shining armor to ride up on a white horse and save us. Over time we internalize this messaging to the point that we feel incapable of rescuing ourselves. Thanks to our participation in Good Girl Syndrome that I spoke of in the last post, most of us are lacking confidence in being able to handle things alone. We don’t even know we are abdicating our responsibilities. We simply believe this is the way it is for a woman in the world. It is wrong to press the pause button on your life as you wait on a partner to fulfill you. You deserve to chase your dreams regardless of your relationship status.


I believe it is time for a change. It is time for women to feel empowered, to know how to find answers to questions so we can solve our own problems. We must be ready to stand on our own two feet and feel confident in handling whatever comes.

As a woman who has been single for over a decade now, I get the desire to have a partner. But as a woman who has done so much work, I fully own my life. I don’t need anyone to ride to my rescue. I am capable and responsible for being the Shero of my own story. And I know if I can develop the skills and resilience needed to save myself, you can do the same! I am here to show you a different option.


As a mother of daughters, the Disney princess game was deep in our home. From the game, Pretty, Pretty Princess to costumes to twirl in and every pink thing under the sun, the idea of little girls being princesses in need of a prince to save them was a daily theme in our home. As a Christian, I used to think I needed to have a man lead me and our home. While growing in my understanding of how patriarchy has driven this false narrative I had to accept that the church played a MASSIVE role as well. Now I believe I need to be whole and complete on my own and fully capable of leading myself through life. I don’t need a man to lead me. If I choose to have a partner I want someone who will share the load as we build a life together as two whole people creating a fair and equitable life. I have learned I want to be the shero of my own story. And I have created a four-step process to help us do this.


This is the process I have been working through to build the skills needed to be the shero of my own story:

  1. Acknowledge areas where you have handed control of your story over to other people or pushed pause as you wait for someone to save you
  2. Choose one area where you will work to build confidence and skills to bring significant change to your life
  3. Find a class, a book, or some tool you can use to grow your knowledge in this area so you feel more confident in saving yourself
  4. BONUS TIP: Celebrate your progress and share what you learned with another woman to help her do the same

If you will work to build confidence, increase your skills, and take ownership of your life, you will become the Shero of your own life.



When you take action and follow the plan outlined you will find you:

  • Increase your confidence
  • Gain new skill sets
  • Feel empowered
  • Make personal growth
  • Inspire other women to do the same
  • Earn your Shero cape

It is time we stopped looking for a hero to save us and start becoming the SHEro of our stories. Let’s stop teaching little girls that they are some simpering Disney princesses who have to wait to do anything until a knight in shining armor rides in. We must stop buying the lie that we aren’t enough or that we lack what it takes. Everything we need is already planted within us to go out and slay our own dragons so grab your sword, Lovie, because it is time to slay!



As you read these words, please know this is not about man-bashing. I would not want that for one second. I believe men have also been handed a sack of shoulds of their own in order to fit into the patriarchal construct. (Toxic masculinity anyone?). This is about women standing up and taking the power back to write their own stories. It is about ensuring you own all the parts of your life and are working to be your best self. If you have or want a partner, being confident and capable of yourself will only make that partnership better. And if you don’t have one, you won’t have to push the pause button on living the life of your dreams while you wait for that someone to show up.



Don’t spend another day frozen in place, waiting for someone else to handle your life. Stop believing the false narrative that you are not capable of being responsible for your life and begin to discover the power you have to resolve them. It is time you see you don’t need anyone’s permission to live the life of your dreams.


Until next time, remember, I am in it WITH you, always,
Coach Tammy